Slowing down is feeling good. I think I’m finally starting to understand what it means, but it’s still so hard to do. So far, it means going where life takes me without feeling bad about it. For example, this am, my little one is sick and kept wanting me to hold her. So I did instead of rushing out of the house “to go to work”.
Babies do that. It’s cute. She is otherwise super independent and puts herself to sleep (my mom was surprised when on a trip to nyc, I literally dropped her in her pack n’play, said good night, and closed the door). But when she’s sick, she wants to be held. It’s interesting because it goes to the core of our vulnerability as humans. Babies have a way of showing you what we’re like in our most “natural” state. On some level, I’m guessing that feeling of needing to be held when we’re not well doesn’t really go away when we’re adults but we’ve created a society that ignores it on some level. I was surprised when I moved to this part of the world as a kid and learned that sick people are avoided in this culture. I never grew up thinking this way. But if you’re sick here, you don’t get hugs or affection. Instead, you’re told to “stay away from me”. Ouch. I get why. I’m a lover of science. But still, where is the humanity left in the world? On some level, something about that way of thinking doesn’t feel right to me. The worse is when people blame others for getting sick, “You made me sick!” Who the fuck would want to make someone they care about sick if they could control it? Com’on people, where is the compassion?
I digress a lot here. It’s fascinating. Welcome to how my mind works.
I gotta go. Some umbrella at this coffee shop just flew off and hit me. Ouch. Need a minute to recover…
Until next time.